This is my baby.

20161008_155321.jpgOne of the things as a parent that you really look forward to doing whilst pregnant is leaving the hospital with your baby, all wrapped up lovely in a coming home outfit, probably some oversized hat as we worry the outside air will be too cold for our dainty little babies. This doesn’t change as you have more than one so I was so excited and so naive thinking about bringing my baby home. Instead I left with a box.


SANDs memory box that we came home with 💙


A box full that is now full of little bits all to do with my child, but the one thing it doesn’t have is my actual physical baby. I am so grateful that sands supply all parents with one of these as they are unbelievably comforting to sit and look through when times are hard but I’m sure you’ll agree, there not quite the real thing. I thought I’d share my boy with you and this is the only way I can do this so here is my memory box and the contents 💚



This is Macauleys hand and foot prints done just a few hours after birth, my tattoo is a identical replica of the handprint on the far right. It amazes me whenever I see these that anyone’s hands and feet could ever be this tiny yet still look like perfect little hands and feet!


After having Harvey we assumed (again ever so naive) that our next child would be a little tank like his brother! But life had other ideas, when we were told we were giving birth at 25 weeks we knew the clothes we had wouldn’t fit so we made a mad dash to buy something for our baby to wear, the hospital did very kindly offer something but I wanted this to be personal. Macauley didn’t actually wear either of these and he was cremated in a beautiful grey baby grow but I love looking at these and remembering his size and how he looked in something very similar 💙


These were seed packets I had made for the funeral. I wanted something that would make the day stand out other than for the morbid reasons we were all there, this gave my close friends and family a reason and a choice to sow the seeds and remember my son every year in their own personal way, and naturally I kept one to keep in his box so I always have one to remind me, and who knows one year if I decide to get green fingers I may sow mine too 💚


This is personally my favourite bit, I can’t explain why or what it is that I love about them but they fill my heart with warmth whenever I hold them. This is rather morbid but I believe part of the reason I love them so much is because his blood is still on them. Which means DNA wise, this is the only bit that has survived of my son and that is rather special 💙


For obvious reasons these are all in his box too, every scan picture we had has been collected together to be saved in his memory box so we can look back at the only pictures we have of our baby boy while we was alive 💚


And of course this needs to be there, where it all started. The day my life changed again forever. Anticipation, fear, excitement and pure love right from this little line and it’s still ongoing to this day..


I love you to the stars Macauley Francis 💙







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