Christmas in heaven

I hope Christmas in heaven is as magical as it is on earth, I hope santa still brings you gifts and you still get excited about spending the time with your loved ones. I hope you and all the other babies in heaven have a lovely time on Christmas day and still feel very much […]

Sorry.

As a mother you automatically think you can protect your child from everything in this big bad world. How shitty that I couldn’t protect both of my children from this? I should of been  able to keep my baby safe in my tummy and keep him alive untill he was ready to give it a […]

I miss you

I miss you today. I mean I miss you everyday but I really miss you today. I’m not even sure why, sometimes it’s because I’ve seen a picture of a baby boy, sometimes it’s because I’ve been speaking about you or I’ve had a dream about you again. Other times its because I’ve seen a baby […]

My promise to you.

I think about you alot, especially at the minute as this time last year was when we first knew of you! This time last year we cried over a little pink line. This time last year we fantasised about how different our lives would be in one years time and my God we weren’t wrong. […]

Stillbirth is real life.

Before Macauley I was naive. Stupidly and so ignorantly naive. Like I knew babies died and people went through absolute hell and I felt for these people, but it never effected me directly so it would be a sad 5 second thought from me and I’d move on with my life.. Even the day I […]

This is my baby.

One of the things as a parent that you really look forward to doing whilst pregnant is leaving the hospital with your baby, all wrapped up lovely in a coming home outfit, probably some oversized hat as we worry the outside air will be too cold for our dainty little babies. This doesn’t change as […]

Family.

  Nothing can prepare you for losing a child, but it can be that little more difficult when you have other children and family members to try and support through it too. Harvey is my eldest boy, he was 4 when his little brother was born sleeping and he was so heartbroken. He’d played such […]